The Sexuality Trap, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and guys use love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs interpret good sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these singles, making love brings tremendous meaning and repercussions.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, instead of looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), which makes the chance to make love with somebody we are brought in to exceptionally tough to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), makings us feel extremely near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , leading to effective sensations of destination, enjoyment, nearness, wellness, and love .

When problems arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is fantastic!" They probably wouldn't admit it, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, says that a number of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men especially in urbane locations, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, encourages sexual activity. Numerous gay males desire to discover from the beginning if a prospective partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be excellent?".

North includes, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a provided that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with you can find out more sound judgment. While good sex is crucial for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, requirements, worths, and goals -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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