The Sex Temptation, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Skull

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs translate excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these songs, having sex carries enormous meaning and repercussions.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more frequently, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the chance to make love with somebody we are attracted to extremely hard to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are strong and involuntary , leading to effective sensations of attraction, enjoyment, wellness, love, and closeness .

When problems occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is fantastic!" They most likely would not admit it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and relate the original source to the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay men, states that much of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in cities, sex is readily offered, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, encourages sexual activity. Lots of gay men desire to discover from the beginning if a prospective partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the see post sex isn't really going to be good?".

Nevertheless, North includes, "I believe this is a 'guy' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to point out that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a given that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow over time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with typical sense. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, worths, requirements, and objectives -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

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