The Sex Snare, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs interpret great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, having sex carries enormous meaning and repercussions.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be excellent as well).

B.more frequently, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), makings the chance to have sex with someone we are brought in to exceptionally tough to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), makings us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , leading to effective feelings of attraction, excitement, nearness, well-being, and love .

When issues occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is great!" They more than likely wouldn't confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, states that a lot of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys specifically in cities, sex is readily offered, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical appearance, motivates sex. Numerous gay males want to discover out from the beginning if a possible partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

Nonetheless, North includes, "I believe this is a 'guy' thing instead of Learn More a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a provided that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means combining chemistry with sound judgment. While home excellent sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, requirements, worths, and objectives -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

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