The Sex Catch, Stabilizing Hormones and the Head

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males utilize love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs interpret excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these singles, having sex brings enormous meaning and effects.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will be good also).

B.more frequently, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are drawn in to exceptionally tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are uncontrolled and strong , resulting in powerful feelings of attraction, excitement, love, closeness, and wellness .

When issues arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is great!" go right here They probably wouldn't confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, says that much of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys specifically in cosmopolitan locations, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical appearance, motivates sexual activity. If a potential partner is going to be sexually compatible, lots of gay men want to find out from the starting. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

North includes, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to explain that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though sometimes it can grow gradually.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means combining chemistry with typical sense. While excellent sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, objectives, worths, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

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