The Sensuality Lure, Stabilizing Hormones and the Skull

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and males use love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs interpret excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these songs, having sex brings immense significance and consequences.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be excellent as well).

B.more frequently, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other person may be a match on levels besides physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the chance to make love with someone we are attracted to very hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , causing effective sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, closeness, wellness, and love .

But when problems arise, those who fall under the Sex Trap frequently justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is terrific!" They more than likely would not confess it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, states that many of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in city locations, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, motivates sexual activity. Lots of gay men desire to find out from the beginning if a possible partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

Nevertheless, North adds, "I think this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire over at this website to mention that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a offered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with common sense. While excellent sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, values, requirements, and goals -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

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